Coping with Alzheimer’s – Dos and Don’ts

For Swapna*, 62, being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s was a debilitating blow. What first appeared to be symptoms of growing old (misplacing items, forgetting names) soon became progressively worse until her husband started finding detergent in the fridge and milk packets in the washing machine. When they heard the diagnosis, it felt like a death sentence, but today, a year later, Swapna and her husband are coping well with the disease and have a positive outlook on life.

If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, here are a few do’s and don’ts to help you deal with it better.

Learn everything you can about the condition – but make sure you get your information from a trusted, reputed source like a certified doctor, or certified online sites. Knowing how to deal with Alzheimer’s and being prepared for what is to come will help you prepare better for it.

Unfortunately, Alzheimer’s is a condition without a cure (yet), and the patient’s condition will progressively become worse. Knowing that a loved one may not get better is a very bitter pill to swallow – which is why we recommend counselling, both for the patient and the care-giver. Also, many patients deal effectively with Alzheimer’s by focusing on the present, and manage to live a comfortable and meaningful life by ensuring good day-to-day care.

Make to-do lists that can be followed easily – some patients in the earlier stages of Alzheimer’s find it helpful to label everything with post-its.

This is not a one-person battle, in fact it takes an entire village to deal with Alzheimer’s. If you’re suffering from the condition or taking care of someone who is, be sure to build a strong support network around you – there is absolutely no shame in this and at some point, we all need to depend on somebody else.

This is especially important for caregivers – your doctor only sees the patient for a few minutes, but this simple habit can help your doctor understand what your loved one is going through and facilitate a more informed diagnosis.

As the diseases progresses, it may become difficult for patients to remember to do simple tasks, or respond to simple questions. At such times, instead of asking them ‘Did you remember to take your medicine?’, give them the medicine yourself – or instead of asking ‘What do you want to eat?’ (a question that will stress them further by obliging them to search for an answer), provide a prompt, by saying ‘Let’s have dinner together,’ which will do away with the need for decision-making and make it easier for them to respond.

In this case, sooner is definitely better than later – especially because it will stress the patient more to do it when they’re not in the right frame of mind.

This applies equally to the patient and the caregiver – if the patient doesn’t remember details or names, leave it. Tell them not to sweat it and just move on – the name or word isn’t important. Focus on making the best of every moment and enjoying what’s there in front of you.

An Alzheimer’s patient may tell you they’ve just been talking to their mom, which may surprise you since their mom passed away years ago. At such times, don’t argue with them or try to point out they’re wrong (however gently you may attempt to do so). Take their word for what it is; and understand that they’re beyond the point of dealing with logic and reason. Trying to make them come to reality will only stress and aggravate them further. Besides, therapeutic white lies – such as agreeing with them on certain things and giving them antidepressant medicines under the guise of vitamin tablets – doesn’t harm anyone.

Your loved one is still there, though it may be hard to see. Spend time with them, make memories, and do what you can to keep them happy and comfortable.

And take heart, you’re not in this fight alone.

*Name changed to protect identity